The 5 Hirning's Happenings

My thoughts & happenings in the life of the Hirning's that I want to share with the world...

Monday, April 27, 2009

Blizzards For Dinner??

Yesterday the kids all scored goals at their soccer games. We told them if they met their GOALS we gave them they could get a Blizzard at Dairy Queen. Emily had to score 1 Goal, Hannah 3 Goals and Benjamin 3 also. It has been wicked, busy on Sundays with the girls having softball practice right after soccer games and this Sunday I had an Uppercase Living party in Stevensville. I got back into to town and ran into Costco and Super Walmart to get our weekly groceries and then picked up Benjamin & Hannah from the softball fields and got their blizzards at about 6:45. (Emily got hers at 8) They were eating them up and they asked "what's for dinner?", I told them they were eating it. "Blizzards?" they asked. I said when we got home they could have a sandwich for snack if they wanted. Blizzards for dinner don't happen very often!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Gone Too Early

Still hard to believe a year ago a friend called me crying saying "Kel, have you heard? Tracy passed away last night in her sleep." What?? This does not just happen to a young mother of barely 40. A friend you just saw the other day. But it happened. It was so hard. It still is. When I see her boys, it breaks my heart all over again. Boys need their mama. Husbands need their wife. Friends need their friend.

Tracy is still missed by so many. Her memories live on in her scrabooks, in her store, in her boys (Connor, Riley & Dave).

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

10 Reasons I Love Emily

This has been on a list of things to do for a long time now. 10 Reasons I love each of our children. This morning I took charge and took a photo of Emily before she left for school. This is going to be checked off of my things to do -

10. She's an original - there really isn't anyone else like her. She is very opinianated and not afraid to show it!
9. She's her own person - she doesn't go with the flow, she causes her own current
8. She is a Christian - maybe someday she will get to the point where she will question things more, but she really does love the Lord
7. She loves to be home with her family - sometimes I wish she would leave (just kidding) but she really does like to just be home with us. I know that will all change someday soon so we relish it now.
6. She is well rounded - that may be her upbringing but she does play sports, the oboe, the piano, she is a good student, involved in youth groups thru two to three churches, MCT (her acting)
5. She is turning into a beautiful young lady - it's been fun to watch her transformation from kid to girl - almost woman *gulp*
4. I still love her freckles - she is our only one with them!
3. She is very helpful with her brother and always has been. She loves Hannah too she just shows that differently but I see it, sometimes.
2. She loves me and her dad too - she may act like she doesn't but she does. She still wants us to pray with her everynight and she still like hugs even though she may pull away.
1. She is our first born and will always hold a special place in my heart <3. I think she has turned out pretty well for our guinea pig. Now, hopefully we don't mess up the other two.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Softball Season Has Hit

Run, run, run - that is all we have been doing once I get off work at 5 o'clock these days. Soccer started last week too. Benjamin, Emily & Hannah all play that! The girls both play softball, this year on different teams. Emily hasn't been able to attend one of her games yet, they have only had two, since she is finishing up All City Winds and this was a prior, school commitment. Tonight is her last ACW concert and then she is home free. Here are some pics of Hannah pitching, she's been doing so awesome! It's been fun to watch!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Psycho Kelley Here...

So I am bummed. Last year when Dan and I were losing weight and getting healthy I had a few pairs of pants and shorts that were TOO big. (How nice is that?) Well, I got all healthier then thou and sold them at my yard sale. You know the old, I will never fit into these again. So I am bummed. I think they would fit me perfect right now and now they are gone! I am bummed because they WOULD fit me now and then I am bummed because I don't have them here to wear and they WOULD be comfy to wear and I don't want to go spend more money on my fatassitis (as Dan refers to the disease he suffers from).

So here is how psycho I can be. I used to buy clothes a size or two smaller, hoping that by next season they would fit me, especially if they were on clearance and cheap. It was motivation, right?? Wrong! It just made me feel like crap when I looked in my closet and had clothes that didn't fit me. I bought last fall a pair of Liz Claborne jean shorts, size 12 and a Large LC t-shirt, for like $1.97 each. Well, I've had them hanging right next to my bed for the last month or so and it still hasn't motivated me. They are just hanging there and I am still all fat & sassy!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

HE Is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

What a beautiful Easter we had in Missoula this year! Sunny and warmer, I think it was high 50's, I wish a little warmer but we will take what we got!

Friday night we took the kids to the Stations of The Cross at church. What a great reminder for all of us what exactly Easter is about! Benjamin had so many questions about it all and was so relieved when we got to the car and he was able to ask all his questions. Why did God die? Why did we hammer nails into the cross (yes, I held the nail for him while he hammered, very scary!)? It was awesome! I'm glad we took the time to do it!

Easter morning I heard Benjamin get up. Awhile later he came in our room and whispered "mom, can I sweep with you?". He got in bed with me and then was done whispering - he told me about all the "really cool things" the Easter Bunny brought him. And how the EB brought Emily the movie Mamma Mia. He wanted everyone to get up, I told him to got let Sadie out of her kennel. She'll wake everyone up! Well she did and the girls came up and were ready to go thru their "bakskets" (as Benjamin calls them). Daddy kept sleeping but Benjamin finally went in and asked him to get up! We had to go to church at 9:30 since we were teaching Sunday school and we then stayed for the 11:00 service. Headed home and Dan made some yummy egg salad sandwiches and the kids went out and drew on the sidewalk with their new chalk! We then headed to the Mueller's for a good food and friendship and of course an Easter egg hunt! What a blessed day!

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Easter Bunny Stops By Early

Hannah gave Benjamin a plastic egg yesterday. Benjamin decided to try something out. He placed the empty egg near his pillow last night. He wanted to see if the Easter Bunny would bring him a special treat. Daddy explained to him he didn't think it would happen but...low and behold the Easter Bunny made an early stop at our house. Benjamin woke us this morning so stoked. The Easter Bunny left him "a snickers and a penny" after Mommy asked to see he his gift, he actually received a Starburst and a quarter. I told him that a quarter was actually 25 pennies and he was so excited "I'm rich" he said.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Time To Get Real

So, this morning I took a picture of the number on the scale, as I was standing on it, duh? I am so tempted to add that picture for all to see. Will that help me to get real about weight loss and being healthy?? I am not sure, I'm torn. I need to be held more accountable to myself and if embarrassing myself a little helps get it in perspective and gets me more dedicated then I am all for it.

I'm also wondering if I should start a separate blog. Is this family stuff or is this all about me?? Let me know what you think...

So here is some frustration - I've been semi working on eating right and exercising since the New Year. My 20th class reunion is this summer and I want to look good for that, but, then I question that? Why?? What does it matter?? I have seen 2 people from our class in the last 20 years, the ones that matter, what does it matter what the other 150 people think?? But, anyways - my friend Maureen and I are training, well kind of, for the Missoula 1/2 Marathon this summer. I've gone to the Y at least 2-3 a week for the last 3 months. I've eaten more fruit this year already than I probably ate last year. I gave up chocolate, soda pop and alcohol for Lent. And still my body has not changed in any shape or form. I'm not looking for a major transformation but maybe a little change. Maybe my pants being a little loose would be nice. Ugh! What to do??? Oh, yeah and I drink a gallon of water EVERY work day, that's 5 days a week for the last 2-3 months - still nothing!!!! Help! I am frustrated and pissed off. Do I have to be heavy my whole life? Why can't I get this together???

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Opportunity Lost

Here is a 4 generation picture of the Barthelmes'. My great grandpa (I don't remember him at all), my grandpa (he passed away two weeks after I turned 21) and my dad (he passed away when I was pregnant with Hannah), oh, and me. I've always liked this picture - not sure why, but I have.

Yesterday was 11 years since my dad passed away. I wasn't sad yesterday, per say, it was just weird. Opportunity lost. By that I mean I will never have the chance to talk to him and ask why??? Why did he chose not to be a real part of my life? Why did he feel alcohol was more important than a family? Why did he only feel he could come around when he had money?? Why didn't he ever acknowledge Emily when he was alive and could? So many whys?

Maybe I should go back to the beginning, most of you know nothing of my Dad or our relationship. I was born to a poor black family - oops - wrong story. Wow, where do I start?? I was the first child of Denny & Sue. I was born in Erie,Pennsylvania and we moved to San Diego,California when I was in 1st grade for a better, warmer life, I believe. My sister Julie was born the year before the BIG move West. After we got there and were settled, Stacy was born. I don't really remember much of their marriage and I definitely don't remember any warmth or love being shared. The memories I do remember I guess I probably shouldn't share. My parents finally divorced, as I remember it, I was like 8 or 9. My sisters were babies. I remember crying when he left and I remember the girls too but I don't think they totally understood why. I remember many missed dates - where my dad was supposed to pick us up for an afternoon or one time he was taking me to the Del Mar fair - I remember sitting by that window all night waiting for him to come and him not showing up or calling. He did remarry for a short while to a wonderful woman - he always remembered to pick us up there and we were more like a family than we had ever known. It was nice. My mom and sisters and I moved back to PA when I was going in to 6th grade, that was hard cause things were going pretty well and leaving my dad and his new life was hard. They came to visit us once after the move but then they too got divorced. My dad had a drinking problem and always chose to let alcohol rule his life. It was pretty sad. Every now and then he would call - sometimes he would call to see what we wanted for Christmas or our birthdays. Sometimes the holidays would pass without hearing from him. I stayed close to my dad's parents and that was kind of hard because you couldn't really talk to them about my dad, I know they knew he had failed us but we never really discussed it. When I turned 16, my dad bought me a ticket to come out and see him for a few weeks. It was fun but weird. He had a new girlfriend and we were pretty much forced to hang out but I did get to spend sometime with my Dad one on one, something my sisters never had the chance to do. For my graduation my dad flew home. Two years later I moved to Santa Barbara, CA and he drove up twice to see me in the 9 months I was there. As I got older we would still talk every now and then, not very often though. When my grandpa was dying my dad came home, I was then back in Erie and we did spend a lot of time together. We had dinners or would at least meet up at the hospital - it really was the most of a relationship we have ever had. He was there for over a month. One BIG thing happened that trip though. I told my dad "NO". Something I had never done. Growing up when ever he called,I jumped. I was always took what ever I got from him and never questioned it. He was in town that year for my 21st birthday. The day before my BIG day he said "we'll go out to dinner tomorrow night for your birthday". I looked at him and said "NO". He looked at me very confused. I explained to him that my friends and I had been planning this day for months and just cause he was in town didn't mean I was going to change my plans. That was hard and I know he was hurt, but enough was enough. I invited him to meet up with us, we were at a bar, how could he say NO?? He actually did buy my first, legal drink. My grandfather died in early June - my dad and I had plans to meet at the hospital that morning. My grandma, aunt and cousins were going to my cousins 8th grade graduation and would meet up with us later. I was home getting ready when my doorbell rang. It was my dad, my grandpa had just passed, my dad was there. I was the first person he came too, I truly thought this was a breakthrough - how could our relationship go back to every now and then. My dad was heartbroken, I think there was unspoken words between the two of them, and here he was with me. Telling me, making me a part of an important piece of his life. After the funeral and all, my Dad left. I never saw him again. That was June 1992. I believe we spoke every now and then. I moved to FL and then MT. I do remember speaking to him once while I lived in MT - he was sick for awhile in the hospital, I can't remember why, but he recovered. We spoke after that (1995) - I believe I was pregnant with Emily - my nephew Samuel was already born and he asked about him, but really, he wasn't a father at all, how could he be a grandfather? That was the last time. In April of 1998 I got a call telling me my dad had died the day before. He died in Mexico - which is kind of funny. He was very racist and hated mexican food. The family says of a heart attack but I have his actual death certificate and it is in Spanish but it says something about alcohol intoxication. At least he died doing something he loved. He is buried in San Diego in the military graveyard. I hope one day to get down there and see it.

It's weird when my kids ask about my dad. There isn't a lot to say to them, it's sad how he really won't live on in memories. But you have to be around to make a memory, right? I always tell Dan what a wonderful Daddy he is and the kids how LUCKY, LUCKY they are. Dan is a wonderful father and I can never, ever see him turning his back on Emily, Hannah & Benjamin. I can cry in an instant, actually, I am right now, thinking of the girls weddings and their Daddy walking them down the aisle. My kids truly are blessed, sometimes I am jealous, but my opportunity is lost.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Cancer Sucks!

This may have been a title I've already used but it deserves to be stated again. My neighbor, Paula, passed away last night from colon cancer. When we were building our house we met the new neighbors and found out that Paula had colon cancer - at that moment I wanted to run. We had just lost Dan's mom the December before and I had just got back from Pennsylvania where I was watching a family friend die of cancer. I told Dan that I didn't want to live there, I didn't want to get close to someone again that was going to die of this horrible disease. Well, obviously, we stayed and we got to know Paula. She was a fighter - there was times that I couldn't see the cancer winning. We haven't seen her much and assumed she was resting. In the last few weeks more and more cars have shown up outside our house and we have assumed that death was looming. I was so sad because I just didn't feel comfortbale enough to go stop in and see her, yet, I never got to say good bye. Kaylea, her daughter who was one of my middle schoolers when I was working with them at church years ago, she is now in college, instant messaged me this morning that her momma had passed away last night. Cancer sucks! Rest in Peace Paula!