So anyone that knows me knows that I struggle with my weight - daily. I don't want to be in this body and just accept me as me but then I don't always do a lot to change it either. I think about it ALL THE TIME.
Last fall I started walking daily. A few miles a day. Up hills and such. It felt so good. It was my release. I also was able to try the HCG diet for free. I did it and lost like 15 pounds in three weeks. My body changed. It was weird. It really did. I had some clothes I hadn't worn in years fit again. It was wonderful.
Then we moved and it was the holidays. Kind of fell of the wagon and in January jumped back on. Was working out at the YMCA 6x a week. Felt good. Things were shifting again and all was good in the world. Then I started that stupid job at the hotel and it totally threw me out of whack. I was tired all the time. Stopped working out. Stopped eating well. I have tried and tried and can't seem to get back on that band wagon. I am frustrated with myself and I feel my body shifting again - this time for the worse. The weather here is not helping. It's June 6th and swimming suit season or shorts are far from my mind with this 60 degree rainy weather.
Again, I think about this ALL THE TIME. Every day I want to start back up but then feel bad about myself and my mind starts playing tricks with me. Well, in the last two weeks I have had 3 different people say "God you look great". "Have you been losing weight?". How am I supposed to take this??? I've gained. I look like a freakin blob. I don't look good or feel good. But then I think is this a sign from God to motivate me???? Thinks that make you hmmmmmmm
2 comments:
I hear you, Kelley. I think it is God's way of telling you that you are beatuiful and that the mirror is NOT always the best reflection of who we are. How others see us is the true reflection of our personality, heart, and our gifts. Being thinner is great, BUT it doesn't cure us of the internal mess that we can sometimes be. Working from the inside out does that. Hang in there and enjoy the compliments from others.
I DO think you look amazing. It's not the number on the scale that should be important. Reading that, it feels EXACTLY like myself talking. Weird.
Good luck, you will get back on it. And if you don't I think you look great just where you are.
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